Ray the Barbarian
by Donjusticia
Summary: Oh...what is this? Is this a parody of CorinnetheAnime's story, "Never Alone Again?" I thought she said that it would definitely NEVER be parodied! Whelp, I guess this shouldn't exist then, and that you guys DEFINATELY shouldn't read and review this story, and that I shouldn't warn you guys that it's rated T for some comical blood and violence. DON'T ENJOY IT! IT DOESN'T EXIST! ;)


**DISCLAIMER!**

 **THE FOLLOWING IS PRETTY MUCH OBLIGATORY. *MIMICKING CORINNE'S VOICE* "OH DONJUSTICIA COULD NEVER PARODY 'NEVER ALONE AGAIN!' WELL GUESS WHAT CORINNE! YOU'VE BEEN PARODIED!**

Ray the Barbarian

 _Ray felt bile coming up her throat. She wanted to believe it had something to do with watching the gruesomeness of one of "HIS" duels, but something told her that it had more to do with the rancid food that "SHE" had sold her from "THAT" concession stand._

 _The entire stadium was enveloped in the roars of the crowds as they looked upon the gruesome scene. Men, women, children, grandmothers, grandfathers, and thousands upon thousands of other faceless background characters were all cheering Zarc's name for providing them with the family-fun entertainment._

 ** _"_** ** _ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"_** _Zarc belted out, holding up his gladius as the fans all gave the thumbs down. Leering menacingly at his opponent, Zarc fulfilled the demands of the audience by bringing his weapon down._

 _This wasn't real…it couldn't be real! And just to make sure, Ray pinched herself._

Instantly, she woke up.

"And do you, Ray…" Sophia, Goddess of Rebirth asked, "take this here demon/dragon to be yall's lawfully wedded hubbie?"

"Oh yes, I do!" Ray exclaimed with pure joy as she clasped Zarc's claws in her own delicate hands. "Why, this is exactly what I've been dreaming about…my…whole…wait a minute."

 _Instantly, she woke up._

 _Zarc was reciting his oath as the audience prepped his next opponent…or rather victim…or rather sacrifice for the next duel._

 ** _"_** ** _I will endure to be burned, to be bound, to be beaten, and to be killed by the sword…assuming any of you sucka's can actually beat me!"_**

 _This earned him even more applause from the crowd as the emperor himself placed a crown of laurel wreaths on Zarc's head._

 _"_ _Oh cheer up, Ray." Ray's dad, Leo, soothed as Zarc hacked his opponent into lunch meat before drinking his blood from a wooden bowl. "I mean…sure…our civilization has basically devolved into utter and complete barbarism and we'll probably be called upon to account for our sins where we can hope for no forgiveness whatsoever…but at least he's still your boyfriend."_

 ** _"_** ** _THIS MAULING HAS BEEN DEDICATED TO MY GIRLFRIEND, RAY!"_** _Zarc whooped,_ _ **"I STILL LOVE YOU!"**_

 _Ray rolled her eyes. "Okay…imma see if I can fix this." She huffed, before getting up from her seat in the Colosseum._

 _"_ _Want some free bread?" Leo asked, offering her half a hunk of roll he had dipped in his lentil soup._

 _"_ _Dad, do I look like a plebian?" Ray sarcastically asked as she adjusted her toga before walking off to Zarc's dressing room._

 **LATER**

 _"_ _And that's the reason why you shouldn't murder/cannibalize your opponents." Ray explained, finishing her three hour lecture to Zarc on the principles of basic morality._

 ** _"_** ** _But, Ray, they love it!"_** _Zarc whined, as a few fans ran up to him._

 _"_ _ZARC! ZARC! SIGN MY CHEST WITH YOUR SWORD!" One of the fans begged._

 _"_ _PLEASE LET ME GET BLOWN UP BY ONE OF YOUR DRAGONS!" Another girl pleaded._

 ** _"_** ** _Oh all right."_** _Zarc laughed as he fulfilled the individual requests of each of his fans, causing even more corpses to pile up on the ground around him as he did._

 _"_ _Zarc, this is getting out of hand." Ray huffed, as the last casualty fell to the ground with a satisfied grin on his face._

 ** _"_** ** _But they WANT it!"_** _Zarc protested, indicating the smiling faces of each dead body. "_ _ **It's entertainment!"**_

 _"_ _How the heck can mindless mayhem and violence be considered entertainment!?" Ray protested, throwing her hands in the air. "Surely you must know that what you are doing is wrong!"_

 ** _"_** ** _Now look, Ray…"_** _Zarc patiently explained,_ _ **"…what you need to understand is…"**_

 _"_ _Ugh! Look how wrinkled he's let his shirt get!" Ray internally sniffed as Zarc continued explaining his long, complicated, and emotionally scarring backstory which showed just how much of a complex character he was, and how he was really a victim in all of this, and how he was totally justified in committing homicide._

 _"_ _Seriously!?" She continued as Zarc rambled on, "How much does this idiot sweat when he's doing his duels!? His disgusting shirt is clinging to his skin so tight that I can see each and every one of his individual…strong…well-toned…muscles…muscles that are just screaming to be caressed and-…"_

 ** _"_** ** _And that's the deep, complex, and emotionally scarring reason that explains why I am totally justified in committing homicide."_** _Zarc finished, snapping Ray out of her daydream._

 _"_ _Hmmmm?" Ray replied, snapping back into reality. "Oh, uh…right. Sounds legit." She shrugged._

 ** _"_** ** _You weren't paying attention, were you."_** _Zarc groaned in exasperation._

 _"_ _What!?" Ray protested, "I…of course I was paying attention! It's just that I still think you're wrong! That's all! And there is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will convince me that your version of entertainment is utterly and completely morally bankrupt! So until you give up your demonic ways and return to the sensitive kitten-adopting man I once knew you to be, you and I are THROUGH!"_

 ** _"_** ** _Ray!"_** _Zarc pleaded, "You don't understand-…"_

 _"_ _WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND!?" Ray snapped._

 ** _"_** ** _Just…why don't you…try it out?"_** _Zarc suggested, offering her his gladiator sword._

 _"_ _Try it out?" Ray asked, looking confused._

 ** _"_** ** _Yeah, just try it out."_** _Zarc repeated._ _ **"You'll see just how fun it truly is, and if you don't…well…you can feel free to hate me."**_

 _"_ _Ugh! Fine!" Ray snorted, hefting Zarc's bloody sword. "But I'm just gonna try one duel! And after I finish off that one duel, I am totally dumping you/potentially breaking your heart and driving you further into darkness._

 ** _"_** ** _I'll bet you'll like it."_** _Zarc smirked._

 _"_ _Bet you I won't!" Ray retorted, before storming onto the duel field._

 **FIFTY BLOODY AND TOTALLY EPIC DUELS LATER**

 _"_ _I can't believe it!" Ray exulted as she decapitated another opponent with a brutal assault before basking in the praise of the crowds, "This is so amazing! I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS ENTERTAINED IN MY LIFE!_ _ **ARE YOU ALL NOT ENTERTAINED!?**_ _" she roared._

 _"_ _MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!" The audience chanted, giddy with the fabulous show she and Zarc had been providing for them._

 ** _"_** ** _VERY WELL THEN!"_** _Ray cackled,_ _ **"I SHALL GIVE YOU MORE! I SHALL GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN TAKE! I SHALL BECOME THE STRONGEST IN THE WORLD!"**_

 _"_ _DESTROY THE WORLD! DESTROY THE WORLD! DESTROY THE WORLD!" The crowds joyfully chanted, hearts having been deeply touched by the unprecedented levels of violence._

 _Ray cackled with joy, finally understanding for the very first time exactly what Zarc had truly been meaning. Truly, there was nothing more joyful and fulfilling than mindless carnage. But it was not enough to just kill a few opponents. She had to keep going! She had to come up with even more entertainment!_

 _And her monsters were in agreement with her._

 ** _"_** ** _I'M STILL NOT SATISFIED!"_** _Wind Witch – Winter Bell angrily jangled._

 ** _"_** ** _KILL THEM ALL!"_** _Moon-Light Leo Dancer hissed in agreement._

 ** _"_** ** _PECK THEIR BRAINS OUT!"_** _Lyrical Luscinia Assembly Nightingale chirped._

 ** _"_** ** _DESTROY THE WORLD!"_** _Bloom Prima roared, soaking in the bloodlust with primal fury._

 _All around, the crowds echoed the desires of Ray's monsters. It had been one thing to watch their fellow human beings get mindlessly slaughtered, it would be a whole new level of entertainment to watch their entire planet go up in flames like the biggest firework in existence. Desperately, the audience pleaded with Ray to fulfill their totally-not-mind-bogglingly-insane-and-unreasonable desires._

 ** _"_** ** _VERY WELL THEN!"_** _Ray cackled, raising her hands into the air._ _ **"IF THAT IS YOUR WISH, THEN IT SHALL BE SO! IF YOU WISH IT, WE SHALL BECOME CUTER! CUTE ENOUGH TO DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD!"**_

 _And so, slamming down each of her cards, Ray proceeded to destroy the world with her army of cute monsters. Fortunately…or perhaps unfortunately…Leo Akaba was busy distilling the essence of flowers, birdies, moonlight, and wind into four cards for no explicable reason, so he missed his daughter's spiral into darkness._

 _Zarc, on the other hand, saw the whole thing._

 ** _"_** ** _I can't believe she's stealing my thunder!"_** _Zarc huffed as he watched Ray destroy half the world's military._ _ **"I'm gonna need a real show-stopper to compete with her now! Any ideas guys?"**_ _He asked his cards._

 _"_ _Oh…I've got one." Astrograph Magician replied before roaring with maniacal laughter._

 **ONE WORLD DESTROYING DRAGON/DEMON/HUMAN HYBRID LATER**

 _The world was gripped in utter and complete chaos as Supreme Dragon King Zarc continued laying waste to all who opposed him. Nations burned, billions died…and EVERYONE was loving it!_

 _"_ _DUDE!" One violence junkie whooped to another violence junkie, "THAT DRAGON JUST BIT MY LEGS OFF!"_

 _"_ _TUBULAR DUDE!" His companion celebrated, "I JUST HAD MY ENTIRE FAMILY GET BLOWN UP!"_

 _"_ _RADICAL DUDE! THIS IS THE BEST ENTERTAINMENT EVER!"_

 _"_ _WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A crowd of people cheered as they were blown fifty miles into the air by another nuclear explosion from Supreme Dragon King Zarc._

 _Ray, on the other hand, was not too happy._

 ** _"_** ** _I can't believe that jerk one-upped me!"_** _Ray snarled as Supreme Dragon King Zarc continued hogging all the lime-light._ _ **"I need to find a way to be even MORE entertaining then he already is, but how!? HOW!?"**_

 _Inside her Extra Deck, Ray could feel the answer come from the voices of her cards._

 ** _"_** ** _I can feel your desires!"_** _Ray hissed, eyes narrowing into slits,_ _ **"VERY WELL THEN! FROM THIS DAY FORTH! WE SHALL BECOME ONE! JUST LIKE HE DID! HITOTSU NI!"**_

 ** _"_** ** _HITOTSU NI NI NI NI NI NI NI NI!"_** _Winter Bell Jingled, aggressively swinging her bell-hip back and forth._

 ** _"_** ** _MEOW-TOTSU NI!"_** _Leo Dancer roared._

 _"_ _ **TWEET-TOTSU NI!"**_ _Assembly Nightingale twittered._

 ** _"_** ** _HITOTSU NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"_** _Bloom Prima sang, sustaining a dark and evil opera note._

 ** _"_** ** _HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT…SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-…"_** _Ray began before her dad cut her off with:_

 _"_ _I DID IT!" Leo Akaba whooped as his four cards popped out of the machine. "Now I can totally destroy Zarc with these four Spell Cards! At last, he won't be able to entertain anyone ever again!"_

 ** _"_** ** _I'll go along with it."_** _Ray shrugged before leaping forward and snagging the cards from her dad._ _ **"TIME TO MEET YOUR END, ZARC!"**_ _Ray cackled, determined to pull the rug out from underneath Zarc's feet._

 _"_ _Ray, wait!" Leo protested, reaching out for his daughter, who stopped momentarily with an annoyed expression on her face._

 ** _"_** ** _WHAT IS IT, DAD!?"_** _Ray snarled, resolving to make sure Leo would be the first to die after she took care of Zarc._

 _"_ _Ray, I know you are taking the cards for the noble and pure-hearted reason of keeping me alive..."_

 ** _"_** ** _Right…"_** _Ray replied,_ _ **'I am totally taking these cards for pure-hearted and non-selfish reasons."**_

 _"_ _But you need to understand how those cards work." Leo continued, before Ray cut him off by blasting him with one of her own magic cards._

 ** _"_** ** _I need to know how these cards work!"_** _Ray mocked, mimicking her dad with an annoyed expression on her face._ _ **"OH WHATEVER! I know how to read! It's not like I'm gonna…I don't know…blow up if I use these things!"**_

 **ONE CATACLYSMIC DIMENSION SPLITTING INCIDENT LATER**

 **"** **OH MY GOSH! I'M TOTALLY BLOWING UP!"** Ray wailed as the magic of Leo's spell cards began splitting the physical form of both herself and her boyfriend.

 **"** **JUST YOU WAIT!"** Zarc vowed, **"I SHALL BECOME ONE, AND THEN YOU WILL NEVER SURPASS ME AGAIN!"**

 **"** **NOT IF I BECOME ONE FIRST!"** Ray challenged.

 **"** **OH YEAH! WATCH THIS! I'M PLACING MY COUNTERPARTS NEXT TO PROFESSIONAL DUELISTS SO THEY DEVELOP MAD DUELING SKILLS!"** Zarc thundered.

 **"** **WELL I'M PLACING MY COUNTERPARTS RIGHT NEXT TO YOURS SO THEY CAN WARP YOUR COMPONENTS AWAY WHENEVER THEY TRY TO UNITE!"** Ray sneered.

 **"** **JERKFACE!"** Zarc roared.

 **"** **DRAGON BREATH!"** Ray snarled back.

 **"** **We're still cool as boyfriend and girlfriend, right?"** Zarc asked.

 **"** **Yeah, we totally cool."** Ray giggled, giving her boyfriend one final peck on the cheek before they were both enveloped in the light of the bracelets.

 **"** **THANKS FOR TEACHING ME THE TRUE MEANING OF ENTERTAINMENT! I'LL BE BACK TO DESTROY YOU LATER!"** Ray bellowed before her essence was split into four pieces.

 **"** **I LOVE YOU! I'M TOTALLY GONNA REVIVE FIRST THOUGH!"** Zarc promised.

 **ONE TIME CONDENSING TRANSITION LATER**

 **"** **OH YEAH!"** Supreme Dragon King Zarc whooped, **"FIRST ONE REVIVED!"**

 **"** **FIRST TO RISE AND FIRST TO BE BEATEN!"** Ray countered, before emerging from the Arc-V Reactor.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Reiji, Reira, and Leo cheered. "Big Sister Ray is here to save the world!"

 **"** **WAIT…WHAT?"** Ray thundered, glaring down at her idiotic family. **"SAVE THE WORLD!? WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT!?"**

"Well, it's why you're here, right?" Reiji asked.

"To stop Zarc and save the world like you did before." Leo contributed.

"To be the light that opposes the darkness." Reira added.

Ray started laughing her head off.

"What's so funny?" Leo asked.

 **"** **YOU IDIOTS STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT!?"** Ray gawked. **"YOU HONESTLY THINK I WANT TO 'SAVE' THE WORLD WHEN DESTROYING IT IS WAY MORE FUN!?"**

"Destroy the world!?" Reiji, Leo, and Reira gasped in astonishment.

 **"** **OF COURSE, FOOLS!"** Ray cackled, **"WHY DO YOU THINK I LET ALL MY COUNTERPARTS GET CAPTURED SO EASILY!?"**

"Because they were sweet innocent girls who had no dueling skills whatsoever?" Leo guessed.

 **"** **NO!"** Ray thundered, **"IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE MY OWN COPY OF ASTROGRAPH MAGICIAN, DUH! OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE DONE THIS A LONG TIME AGO!"**

"Done…what!?" Reiji asked, growing steadily more alarmed.

 **"** **THIS!"** Ray cackled, before harnessing the fusing powers of the Arc-V Reactor for her own purposes.

As the reactor began powering up, Ray, her monsters, and her counterparts all began chanting with glee.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Yuzu cackled, eyes glowing with demonic blue light.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Bloom Prima sang, blowing out the glass of every nearby building with the resonance of her evil voice.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Selena thundered, eyes glowing with demonic green light.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Leo Dancer hissed.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Rin sneered.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Winter Bell tinkled.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Ruri cackled.

 **"** **HITOTSU NI!"** Assembly Nightingale twittered.

 **"** **OH YEAH! HITOTSU NI WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!"** Ray roared as she, her counterparts, the bracelets, and her monsters were enveloped in the blinding demonic light of the Arc-V Reactor before emerging as a new demonic fairy/kitty/ice-witch/birdie/human/demon/thingy.

And thus, Supreme Kawaii-Desu Queen Ray was born.

 **"** **So…"** Zarc rumbled as he glared upon his opponent/love interest. **"Our battle now begins!"**

 **"** **Let the entertainment commence!"** Ray cackled, before the two overpowered fusions clashed.

The damage from their never-ending battle was incalculable, the human casualties seemingly endless. Society collapsed, worlds burned, families died one by one…

…and everyone LOVED it!


End file.
